Where ambition dies and flavor thrives

WELCOME TO THE
HOUSE OF FAILURES.

We've embraced the spectacular mistake. Join us for cuisine born not of success, but of glorious, culinary catastrophe.

RESERVE YOUR GLITCH

Our True History

Born of Spectacular Setbacks

The founder, Chef Ignatius Pith, started three previous restaurants, each one a magnificent failure. The first was due to a faulty fire suppression system; the second, an ill-advised fusion menu; the third, a simple lack of customers.

Instead of giving up, he leaned into the inevitable. **The House of Failures** celebrates those glorious, expensive lessons. We believe that true character—and true flavor—comes from embracing the times when things just don't go according to plan.

See What We Failed To Cook
Distressed, dramatic kitchen scene

The Lessons Learned

The Menu of Misfortune

The Undercooked Dream

A perfectly respectable, but slightly *too rare* ribeye steak. Served with a side of over-salted, disappointing fries.

$42.00

The Failed Investment

Today's soup, initially intended to be a bisque, but somehow ended up as a slightly thin, very confusing vegetable broth.

$14.00

The Bitter End

Melted, slightly burnt chocolate lava cake, served with ice cream that was accidentally left out for three minutes too long.

$18.00

(Note: All dishes are technically delicious, despite their conceptual shortcomings.)

Book Your Seat at Disaster.

We accept reservations, though we often forget to check them.